My Soul Aches
by MattsMarshMello
Summary: Where Maka can't handle being away from Soul, and insanity dominates.
1. Chapter 1

She could hear his voice, deep within her memories. That charming crooked grin, with those sharp teeth. Where was he? She missed him so much, she was losing it now she knew. Her sanity was slipping away along with her hope of seeing him again.

Soul.

Soul Eater.

Her beloved weapon, friend, and the man she was head over heels in love with. Where was he? When or would he be coming back? Tears slipped down her cheeks, and she bit through her lip, making it bleed. Her soul quivered, feeling it coming. It had started not long after he left, the nightmares.

The nightmares held no demon, just shadows. All consuming shadows, that dragged her down into nothingness. Her mind, her senses all went numb. Down to her soul. She felt so numb, as if she wasn't really existing.

It was clawing at her mind now, she put her hands to her head. Crying out in agony at the feeling. The gnawing hunger was closing in, the break of her mind. She knew she was going to snap, tonight was the night. Her petrified green eyes closed, her sanity vanishing. It was cruel, insanity was so very, very cruel. As the tears streamed down her cheeks, she saw memories of what had held her together.

_"Maka." His deep voice called to her._

They were so vivid she swore she_ 'felt'_ him.

_His skin on hers, gentle and reassuring as she gave herself to him for the first time. His breath, hot in her ear as he panted. The moans spewing from his mouth, his whispered affections afterwards. His strong arms holding her close, keeping her from shattering. She trusted him, she will always trust him._

"Soul...where...are you?" She whispered into the darkness of her room.

She barely tasted the salt from her tears on her chapped, bleeding lips. Then, she was hit with another memory.

_His sweet, dark music flowing into her ears. It was their weapon-meister anniversary, he composed a piece about them. She drank it in eagerly, as his hands flowed over the keys. Afterwards, she had no words for him and he had said all he wanted and needed to with his music. They shared moments of content silence, comfortable with the company of each other._

_"Maka." He was gazing at the piano, but turned to her. His dark ruby eyes showing more depth that he normally let out. She glanced at him._

_"Hmm?"_

_He paused, the length of a heartbeat._

_"I love you."_

_Her green eyes widened, and that was how they became more than friends. More than meister and weapon._

She tightened her closed eyes, her body shuddered. She would not make it through tonight, the fear of that crept into her mind. The fear of him not coming back, the fear that the insanity warped and twisted to take control of her. It was there. It would never fade.

The last memory, him leaving. It hit her worse than any kishin had, it caught her breath. It was suffocating to remember this.

_"I'll be back soon Maka, don't worry." He was in a chill mood, as always. She bit her lip, nodded and kissed him before he left. On a mission, he was a deathscythe now and she was to stay put at the academy._

The pressure increased against her chest, time seemed to stop as did her breathing. She shook, the tears continuing. Then, she could breath again and she screamed in agony.

"SOUL-!"

With that, it all went black. The swarming shadows, fears, delusions of her mind swallowed her up. Her soul flickered.

**Several thousand miles away, he looked up with a tense frown.**

**"Maka."**


	2. Chapter 2

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

It never went away. Never. It was always there, always grating at her mind. Always sounding like a static song, a pounding that never ceased. It was constant, not slow, nor terribly fast. You had to think to count to it. 1, 2, 3, 4. You could also count it as 1, 2, 1, 2. You could count it however you like but it never changed. It never wavered. You had to tune into the sound of tapping to hear the numbers, the beat, the notes. Otherwise it sound just like an annoying noise, a static, obnoxious noise. It was never ceasing. Never stopping. Always there, even in sleep. It harshly contrasted the white all around her. The silence that reigned between each time, for however brief it might be it was still there. Still taunting her, the what if of it the beat left. The white walls, the white gown, the white plastic table, the white plastic bed, the white sheets. No windows, no. No windows for her. Every surface smoothed, rounded so she couldn't hurt herself. Herself? Who? She couldn't focus with the unending tapping. It was maddening, but where would she be without it. Alone, she was most definitely alone. The walls, the walls were so white. So white it hurt to look at them straight. Herself? She didn't feel herself, but who? Who is 'herself'? How would she know? It was all white, all white and tapping. Nothing else. No other noise. Surfaces. The surfaces are cold, always cold. Cold plastic. She moved, occasionally she moved. Around the walls she moved. Is there a door? What's a door? Funny word, 'door'.  
>A noise broke the tapping, a giggle? Is that what its called? Perhaps. But it's gone now. What's gone? The tapping. The tapping is still there. Nothing is changed, static. Always. Tapping. Always. White. Static.<p>

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

1, 2, 3, 4.

He couldn't believe it. As his sad ruby eyes watched the girl that couldn't see him, his hand pressed against the glass longingly. He just couldn't believe that this was his Maka. She couldn't see him, he could only look in at her through the wall to her it was solid. The room was completely safe, she couldn't harm anyone or herself. She was in a white gown that his her figure and reached to her mid calf, her hair neatly done in two low pigtails. Some would see white room as sterile or comforting, relaxing even. He thought it was too bright, too plain, to white. Still, she was safe for now. At least physically, as he noticed her eyes were manical or dead, and remained in flux between those two states. His Maka. If he had known she would end up like this he would have never left to begin with. He didn't know if she was in pain, but seeing her like this was causing him to be so. He was brought back to the present at the sound of her giggle. Apparently she hadn't done anything other than tap since she was found in their apartment. Even then, they said they walked in to her sitting on her bed, tapping on the wall and staring blankly ahead. No one knew what was wrong for sure, but she had just giggled. The nurse next to him was writing about what had just happened. He needed to know more, and he needed to get permission to see her. He could fix this, he had to fix this. His Maka, this beautiful, smart girl couldn't stay like this any longer. She needed help and no one had been able to give it to her yet.

"I'm back Maka. I won't leave you, not anymore. I'm going to fix this." After speaking and a longing glance, knowing she couldn't hear him, he turned and headed to go speak and see Shinigami.

He would fix this.

He would save her.

**AN: Hello. :) I honestly expected this to be a oneshot only, but with the reviews (which are lovely! Thank you!) and my current state of intense sadness. I was able to write this, and hopefully more. Though, I do have bad news. My computer is on the fritz and so I do not know when I'll be updating anything. Sadly, the emotion for this piece is due to my own deep sadness at having my beloved cat Cheese at the vet's for some serious health issues. Enjoy.**


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